Thank you 2020 and welcome 2021

Happy New Year everybody. Wishing you and yours good health, happiness and success in 2021.

I am as happy as anyone else to see 2020 go. But in all honesty I cannot say it was all bad. Don't get me wrong, 2020 had enough sorrows and created desperate situations for me as much as anyone else, however there were enough other 'firsts' that make me appreciate it as well. 

For one thing, and if nothing else, it gave me enough time to stop and think. To stop and slow down by force. That created new avenues to channel my energy and talents. Thus were born some new and long- pending ventures.

So, if we are alive today, having survived 2020, let's not complain too much. Let's take those experiences, the good, bad and ugly and take it all forward in 2021 to the best of our abilities. Let us focus on positivity in life and be useful to ourselves and others. That might be the single best and common goal for all mankind. 

All the best wishes for an excellent year people. Lots of love.

Catch-up

A long gap again!

Life suddenly got busy again in this eventful COVID-19 year. I became a student again at none other than Yale University and what an experience it has been!!! Deserves another post in itself.....

Following this I was invited as a Guest of honour and key note speaker for the 53rd Engineer's day event organized by the Institute of Engineers in India, Qatar chapter. The selected theme was one of the best I have spoken on - Self-reliant India. 

The event had such an impressive line-up of distinguished guests and eminent speakers including 

H.E the current Ambassador of India- Dr. Deepak Mittal, 

Prof. K.K Aggarwal, Chairman, National Board of Accreditation, India and

Dr. Mylswamy Annadurai (Moon man of India), Chairman of National Design and Research Forum, India.

I thoroughly enjoyed the event and talks and leave you here with some pictures :)

IPL 2020 and Thala Dhoni :)

The Indian Premier League is the most successful cricket league in the world and is usually held during the months of April and May. But this year being this year, the IPL obviously was affected too. Finally the IPL is being held now and the venue has changed from India to the UAE. I am very partial to my home team, The Chennai Super Kings! They are also one of the most successful teams in the IPL and have been in more finals than any other team. In spite of being suspended for two years, they won the title three times so far in the last eleven editions and were runners-up a whopping five times! That's just a little background for people not familiar with the IPL and CSK. 

Moving on to the only Captain that CSK has had so far - Mahendra Singh Dhoni. Dhoni is also former Indian National Team captain who led the Indian team to the elusive Cricket World cup victory in 2011. Dhoni, in my opinion is a walking Management legend on his own and you can learn so much from just observing him in action. Nicknamed 'Captain Cool', most of his fans have never seen him lose his cool, however in the very rare occasions that he has, we have pitied the one at the receiving end of it! His run chases are legendary and we live to see him hit beautiful boundaries in every match. 

Now obviously Dhoni is not in his prime now and pushing 40 is not a young age for a sportsman. However, he has never disappointed and has so far done justice to his multiple roles in the game. I am only very surprised at some fans and even cricket experts who start hammering him specifically every time India or CSK lost, no matter how good the game. For instance, this IPL 2020, CSK have only played two matches so far, won one and lost another. The match lost was a high scoring match and the total put on the board was only less than 20 runs short of victory. The total is in no way representative of a poor performance at all. Maybe the bowlers could have done a better job in controlling the runs given away to the opposition batsmen, but nevertheless it was a good game that any cricket fan should have enjoyed watching. I don't have a problem with half baked regular fans criticizing the match or captain, however what about the so called experts, or commentators of the game. These comprise of other former cricketers, so you would expect them to speak with some practicality. Does one expect to win every match? Is Dhoni to be singled out every time for a poor or even great performance but with end result of a loss? The same people will laud him shamelessly during the next match that CSK will win. 

In the midst of all such bad articles and tweets, I finally found a good article by former cricketer Sanjay Manjrekar, who actually analysed the decisions made by Dhoni the Captain and Dhoni the batsman. Makes an interesting read and here is the link

https://www.hindustantimes.com/cricket/ipl-2020-ms-dhoni-is-the-ultimate-realist-he-has-always-been-that-way/story-1qcIVV0vS2d3qYZAmQgPCI.html

In another instance, another team, the Royal Challengers Bangalore, lost very poorly. A former cricketing legend took a dig at the Captain, Virat Kohli and of course dragged his poor wife along in his comments. This as well is a common underlying theme in India - blame the partner! 

Looking forward to the rest of the matches this edition, tolerating more of the good/bad articles and just watching our Dhoni in action! 

Prime Minister's address on Indian dogs

I loved the Prime Minister of India, Narendra Modi's address today that included a bit about dogs. He spoke about their integral contribution to the Indian Army's services and importance in preventing acts of terrorism. He took the time to honour several dogs by their names which makes the whole narrative much more personal. For their trainers and units they were family, so it is only fair that their contribution was acknowledged by name, by none other than the Prime Minister himself. While the list is extremely small and the PM will not have enough time to list all martyred dogs in service, it certainly reflects the respect for all of them. 

The PM had also taken the time to research and list some of the native breeds of India and point out some of their special characteristics. They are so much more suited to the country obviously as they were natives here long before their western counterparts arrived and can handle the conditions and native food much better. He also spoke about research happening across Government agricultural institutes on these dogs. The PM encouraged people to do their research and learn more about all of this information, which is sound advice any day. 

The last bit was the best, where the PM asked every family thinking about adopting dogs to consider Indian breeds. One thing the PM should have added is to say adopt strays from the streets who are basically mixed breeds and are very resilient. But I will add this here. Strays are more loyal than any dog of a particular breed that you might 'buy'. Never buy a dog, whatever the breed may be, while there are so many homeless that you can save. People breed dogs for materialistic benefits and for most part the dogs are misused. Help prevent that, please!

It is important that people who have a voice use it for such matters, so it will be heard by more people. For this thank you Modi ji; animal lovers appreciate you taking the time to talk about this.  

Even Republicans endorse a Democrat this election!

I am not sure if this has ever happened before but hard core Republicans and three ex-team's staffers have endorsed Democratic candidate Biden!

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/biden-endorsement-mccain-bush-romney-staffers-reject-trump/

In their letters, the main thing that jumps out other than the many adjectives describing President Trump of course, is that they would like to see decency return to the Whitehouse and the country!

This election is going to be extremely interesting :)

Daggers drawn for the Duchess of Sussex as usual

I cannot understand the level of hate that goes around for the Duchess of Sussex. Wait, on the other hand, maybe I can. When a woman comes across as confident, self-assured, self-sufficient and is successful in life, it is the duty of society to take her down a notch or more than a notch if possible. Hence all stops are pulled by people who generally have no business poking into her life. Her past career as an actress apparently has people deciding that she does not deserve life as British royal or better yet, she 'got' Harry due to some diabolical plan along with her mother! Seriously? They seem happy and she has handled all crap with more grace and maturity than anyone so please move on people.

Take the most recent outburst for example. Markle merely encouraged the American people to use their vote at an online event that she spoke at. She has reiterated the importance of using one's right to vote and honour the past and future which is a reflection of the care for the community. Some of the statements made include very general statements like "If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem, if you are complacent, you are complicit" etc., Note that Markle did not endorse any specific candidate.

These are very general statements, applicable for any democracy where your vote matters and has to be exercised. As a person who is well known, it is encouraging to see someone who uses their voice to say the right things. It is amazing to see how even this is a fault and has led to a TV show host, Piers Morgan, recommending that their titles be stripped. This after the couple have made it abundantly clear that they do not care for the title, power or responsibilities that come with it. What is his qualification to make such a recommendation in social media to the Queen is beyond most of us. A woman is shamed because she comes from the show world, but media is also show business today and does not provide any value in that case to his opinions.

His argument makes no sense; he thinks that since royals by UK law are not expected to comment, Markle has overstepped. Maybe he is not aware that she is a US citizen, and in the US , she is not expected to abide by UK law? Even in UK, in typical British confusing fashion, the royals have a right to vote but considered unconstitutional if they do (eye roll). What does that even mean?!!! 

Get a life people and please stop trying to make headlines using someone else's fame and name. 

India's 'Grand Old Party's' impending changes

We have recently had two very fine articles on Rahul Gandhi's leadership of India's Congress party. One is written by Dr. Ramachandra Guha and the follow-up to that by Dr. Rajmohan Gandhi. The links are below and hope you enjoy their well written pieces showcasing their valuable education and experience, as much as I did.

https://www.ndtv.com/opinion/why-my-assessment-of-rahul-gandhi-remains-unchanged-2281181

https://www.ndtv.com/opinion/rahul-gandhis-significance-in-todays-india-by-rajmohan-gandhi-2282929

Note that while both are actually in support of the Congress party, the views are more with respect to Rahul Gandhi and how his continuation as the party's representative in any upcoming elections will spell doom. Especially against the Modi government. I feel inclined to agree with Dr. Guha's views. How can we expect different outcomes in any elections when there are no changes to the principal opponent in the largest opposition party? Dr. Gandhi's heart is in the right place as all Congress supporters might agree, but I think the party has to move on in their search for an able and charismatic leader. 

For India's  sake let's hope this happens. The interim party president is said to be all set to resign tomorrow and set the wheels in motion.....fingers crossed!

Dr. Shyamala Gopalan - a thank you

I found this wonderful article which followed the Democratic VP candidate, Kamala Harris's mother's achievements and spoke more about the contribution of immigrant women especially from India to Western countries. 

https://scroll.in/global/970540/while-celebrating-kamala-harris-we-shouldnt-forget-her-trailblazer-mothers-contribution-to-the-us

It indeed made me very proud to read about Dr. Shyamala Gopalan, Harris's mother. She hailed from my State in India, Tamil Nadu and we also seem to have chosen similar fields of study and the very same area of research albeit in different decades. Dr. Gopalan's parents later settled in my city of Chennai following their retirement, pretty much in the same area I hail from! Other than these superficial reasons, there is so much more to be proud of though. 

In fact to better understand both Kamala Harris's and Dr. Gopalan's trailblazing lives, we might need to go one generation back and look at Dr. Gopalan's parents. We are talking about the 1940s and 50s when they have been so broad and open minded, looked to educate their son and daughters equally and in fact were not happy with Dr. Gopalan's first choice of education in Home Science as they were ambitious for their daughters. They wanted them to shine as doctors, engineers or scientists rather than learn just good home science, no offence to the subject at all. It goes on to show from where Dr. Gopalan gained her brains and confidence from. Did they think women were not suited for careers and need to be married off at an early age in order to procreate and be good wives and mothers? No, this does not seem to have featured in their discussions at all!

Later their daughter Shyamala decided to apply to the US and got admitted to Graduate school. It never occurred to them to stop her from travelling so far alone to study. In fact they used their retirement funds to partly fund her first semester of study and housing. Shymala then went on to complete her PhD and continued her important work and career until her last days. What a contribution to society!

Not only professionally, but personally she had joined the Black Civil Rights movement in the 1960s and that's how she met her future husband, not an Indian but a Jamaican. She felt confident in her decision and of her parents acceptance of her decision to go ahead with the marriage. She had two daughters from the marriage and brought them up with so much panache by of course following her role model parents. She was comfortable enough to also divorce and end the marriage when finally it did not work and had no need to worry about society and the 'shame' and stigma that divorce still carries in many parts of the world including India. She retained her maiden name till her death in 2009. Hats off to you mam, Dr. Gopalan, for being such an inspiration for us women everywhere. We are very proud of all your achievements, personal and professional. 

The article in the link I shared above focusses on immigrant women and how their contribution is overlooked. It also touches upon how generally immigrant women tend to be more productive than native women and I believe it is very true. Especially Indian women who reach American shores for an education. A good percentage of us have carved our own paths and owned our chosen careers. A word of request for the Middle East countries - please take note. Most migrant women work here and yet the sponsorship rules tie our lives here with our husband or father who are our 'Sponsors'. We need a 'No objection certificate' from them to work anywhere and I don't think there could be anything more insulting than this for a woman. Please also see the potential misuse possible here. Hope things will change soon. Till then I hope. 

You all go girls, keep rocking until changes become inevitable!

National Anthem - anything more beautiful?

For every human being, their National Anthem has to be the sweetest song on Earth! On this 74th Independence Day of India, our Indian soldiers flew the Indian flag at one of the topmost points on the Line of Control itself! 

https://www.ndtv.com/india-news/independence-day-2020-indian-soldiers-raise-the-flag-in-j-ks-gurez-cue-goosebumps-2279958

Nothing more beautiful and stood as per protocol for this beautiful anthem in instrumental here. I tear up every time I hear it and pay it the due respects. 

Do share your anthems too and the protocols associated with respecting the individual anthems. I am sure there are many fascinating details for each.

Happy Independence Day to all Indians out there! 

Pencil drawing - Sandy

I am no great artist, but I have found it cathartic to draw my pets if they cross the rainbow bridge. It never gets easy or better......it has been more than eight weeks and I still want to burst into tears every time I think of Sandy. 

I did a pencil sketching of her and found that I could recall every patch of fur on her face with its contours in all its glory! 

This is Sandy

Hand sanitizers - a word of caution

Of course we live in the times of COVID-19, where hand washing and/or use of hand sanitizers are heavily promoted. Even before the outbreak, I have seen worried moms use hand sanitizers generously in their attempts to keep theirs and their children's hands clean. This has always scared me and I'll tell you why:

1) When you read the big list of things that go into making of a hand sanitizer, can you easily identify most of them and are you comfortable in using them on your skin? High concentrations of alcohol, parabens and pthalates lead to problems from Eczema to hormone imbalance!

2) One of the ingredients in many sanitizers, soaps and even toothpaste - triclosan deserves a point of its own. Here are areas of issues due to triclosan alone:

a) Resistance to antibiotics

b) Hormonal disruptions

c) Compromising immune system 

3) Bacteria will develop resistance and evolve, making many antibiotics useless to human beings. So in the event of another infection, the common antibiotics used may not work.

There is no substitute to hand washing with clean water and common soap. In the event of emergencies, please do carry hand sanitizers, but please avoid overuse. Antibiotic resistance and release of toxic substances are not a problem to only an individual using them but to all living creatures inhabiting our one Earth! The age-old belief - 'Everything in moderation' continues to prove true. Stay safe.

Data manipulation and alternate history!

Like some movies having alternate endings, scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's (MIT) Center for Advanced Virtuality created an alternate ending to the Apollo 11 moon landing this week. 

https://www.space.com/apollo-11-disaster-deepfake-video-tech.html

The video created had President Nixon's speech telling people in the news that the Apollo 11 mission was a failure. The technology available like deep-learning and artificial intelligence tools have enabled creation of such a perfect video. Of course this is not President Nixon speaking, but a voice actor, but it will be very hard for anyone to know the difference!  

It is quite scary to imagine the possibilities that such technologies provide for disruption of peace at so many levels. Highlights the need to never fully believe every news article or video and to always do a full research on any subject before conclusions. 

An old Tamil proverb "Kannal kaanbadum poi, kaadhaal ketpadhum poi; theera visaripadhe mei" (meaning - what you see is false, what you hear is untruths, what is the truth is well researched information only) is truer than ever today.

Nationality for Gods!

Now this in news:

https://www.ndtv.com/india-news/lord-ram-is-nepali-not-indian-says-nepali-prime-minister-kp-sharma-oli-2262148

Thank goodness Gods and their avatars are no longer gracing the Earth with their presence. They might need passports and visas :D

Little Sisters of the poor? I don't think so!

Today's US news had my blood boiling. The US Supreme court decided that companies, which find that it is against their religious beliefs, can deny their female employees the right to preventive healthcare! The most amazing thing is that this has been brought about by the case of Little Sisters of the poor against the State of Pennsylvania! It is precisely the poor who need such healthcare measures more than anyone else.

With all due respect to each individual's religious beliefs, a woman's decision to get pregnant, abort or have a child is none else's but her own, as it should be. You don't believe in it? Fine - don't do it, but imposing this on millions of women who might not feel the same is not religious freedom. Quite the opposite!

First and foremost, let's break this down. Preventive healthcare - what does this mean? Prevent something before it happens - including contraceptive pills and morning after pills, which stop pregnancy from happening. Isn't this a win-win situation for everyone? This is valuing life enough that you don't unnecessarily create it if you can't cope with the responsibilities. So do the sisters prefer that we bring in more lives to suffer in this world with overpopulation, no resources, more orphans and much more suffering? 

Abortion - maybe this is ending life, but again the earlier the abortion is done, the more chances that the foetus's heart has not even started beating yet. Then it is not technically a life that has started yet. But forcing women to keep the child will cause undue suffering to the mother and the child. In today's cut-throat competition, I think the kid will thank you for not bringing him/her into a world with no resources! Again slashing funding and giving the option to employers to not provide this as part of healthcare will affect the poorest of the poor the most. 

Now that the Supreme court has given a choice, employers who did not care or have a moral stand on this issue might find it profitable to suddenly become Catholic! let's hope the lower courts have better sense and common sense and justice will prevail in each state. 

If you want to read more, please find below good links:

https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/biden-says-he-would-rescind-exemption-for-little-sisters-of-poor/

https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2020-07-09/supreme-court-little-sisters-birth-control-preventive-care

Fox news is just a propaganda for the Republicans and has been hailing this as a personal victory.

In my opinion, no uterus, no opinion! So men, your opinion does not matter, as simple as that. Nuns fall in this category for me. No children, no opinion too please, as you do not know what it takes. Little sisters of the poor care for elderly. I am not sure why this was made their mandate! 

Ponmagal Vandhal review

 

Ponmagal Vandhal is an Indian, Tamil movie that released end of May 2020 on Amazon Prime. 

It released amidst much controversy as there was not much acceptance for online releases from Indian producers and distributors as they want traditional theater releases to still be preferred; how is that possible in such times of COVID, only they know! 

I admired the lead actress Jyotika's candid approach to the whole thing and how she hit the nail on the head in saying her movie would not get priority release once COVID crisis was done and movies started releasing in theaters again. Makes perfect sense really; why would you wait for a year or two to release a movie when you can do it now with other platforms. 

The story had my full admiration but the handling of it by the director left a lot lacking. What could have been a fantastic script, with enough twists and a wonderful attempt at awareness regarding child abuse was unfortunately lost in translation quite a bit. Was there a need to explain everything clearly? Aren't the audience smart enough to understand things left unsaid? However the cast was brilliant, though completely under-utilised. I have not seen so many actors/directors from the 80s and 90s come together in such a way for a long time. 

Congratulations to the producers Suriya and Jyotika and their 2D Entertainment for choosing wonderful themes of importance, especially to women and children. It is about time such themes are tackled. Next time maybe a better director!

Kids, Moms and work ......in that order

 

I found these quite common but funny videos of kids crashing on their mom's video calls while working. Especially when they were on live TV! 

 https://scroll.in/video/966264/mummy-whats-his-name-daughter-crashes-professors-live-interview-on-bbc 

The struggle is very real and it is especially so for mothers. Sorry dads and I know some of few are quite hands on too, but children always seem to seek out their moms to ask for any kind of approvals or suggestions. I love how they have their own priorities and are so focussed on getting their job done, regardless of what is going on around them. They are perfectly justfied....in one case the boy wanted the mom's approval to have two cookies and in the other a little girl was just trying to find the perfect place for her unicorn painting! 

The way the two hosts handled the issue was also very different. One ended the interview abruptly and said quite seriously how these can happen in the times now. The other included the kid in the conversation, although she humorously then dominated the rest of the interview :) But you could clearly see relief on the mom's face when it was handled much better. Notice that both moms are holding senior and important enough jobs to be interviewed but motherhood is not negotiable. It is one responsibility that once accepted lasts forever. 

 I am glad I have mostly phone calls or team meetings without video, but I am sure people can usually hear my little one demanding to also speak to whoever is on the other end! :)

End of an era!

 

June 2020 has been one of the hardest months of my life for many reasons. The most important one of them was the passing of my dear Sandy. My constant companion since 2009; my most faithful friend and family member; my reason for coming home many times! 

I admit that I have simply been bursting into tears anytime I simply thought of her and hence this delayed post. I still do, but I can now write about it.....well, somewhat! Sandy made me a mother for the first time. I now had a fellow living being that depended on me to take care of her, walk her, feed her and bathe her. A member to include in grocery shopping lists and to talk about to everyone who would listen. Everyone knows how mothers cannot stop talking of their children, well, that was me too with Sandy. I moved houses for her and planned every day with her in mind, including visits to friends and family. Planned weekends ahead of time so that I could do more activities with her. When our second baby Dexy got added to the family, I was happy since Sandy now had company. Then the human babies came! 

Unfortunately, my time had to be divided between four babies now and there was little to go around. That is probably my biggest regret. While Sandy was always high in my priority, having fun was not always, as all young mothers would know. Now I wish I had had more time just being silly with both my babies. They are gone all of a sudden this year and the house is not the same. No barks and walks to worry about. We are still fostering a dog, thank goodness for that. But life is not the same without my two babies. I see her favourite treats that I never gave to other dogs since I cannot always find them and have to ration. I wish I was not saving them and just had given more to her when she could enjoy them. Regrets....guilt....stuff for mothers! It was early morning when she passed, but I was with her. I could not sleep and knew in my subconscious I think. She wanted me next to her and I sang her last good night song before she passed. Small consolations. While I can still not come to terms, I am glad she did not suffer long. I love you my baby........always be next to me.

Personal loss

Losing a pet is ranked as one of the worst personal crisis that one could face. This is also an often used excuse when people really do not want to add on an additional responsibility to their lives. 'Oh I can't deal with losing a pet, so I'd rather not have one'. Of course to me this is equivalent to saying I know I am going to die one day, so let me stop living now! While I know this to be true for all pets or even farm animals, anyone who knows me knows my partiality for dogs. I simply adore and am in awe of this absolutely faithful creation of God. There is no love as unconditional as theirs. There is no one else who would respect you as much without passing any judgement, ever. Who else joins you in your silly dances, rants and even sadness, adopting your mood to be theirs at any given moment? Who forgives you every time you make a mistake and picks up right where you left off? 2020 has been one of the worst years in my life because I already lost a cherished member of my family, Dexy. We found her on the streets of Doha in 2011, just at the start of summer. For anyone who might know this part of the world, you know that is a death sentence for any stray at 50 degree temperatures outside! Adding to this, she had a beautiful black coat, which will overheat in seconds in that kind of temperatures. She was checked by the vet and had a good bill of health and came home to be fostered until we found her a permanent home. Dexy never left until February this year for the last time. She was a very unique dog, kind of a therapy dog. I am yet to meet another dog who would even come close to her levels of patience and wonderful temperament. We have since fostered brat of puppies, many of whom have made her life miserable just by being their puppy selves and I have never seen her as much as tell them off politely! She was a rock of support to our other dog Sandy, who can be quite touchy although utterly adorable. Dexy just grew old, weaker in her last few months and one day collapsed. There was nothing more we could have done more except let her go peacefully. But like in all cases, I have been filled with regret.....could I have loved her even more? Could I have made her life more fun? Did I care enough for her? Did I make sure she knew how much I loved her and does she know how much I miss her now? The underlying reasons for such questions in my mind was the fact that my family expanded after they both arrived. My two daughters came and took up more of my time over the last decade, a problem all young families have to deal with - lack of time. Dexy, I love you and miss you like crazy. I am sorry for anything I may have done or not done. I say 2020 is one of the worst years because your sister Sandy is also very sick now and it looks like we are fighting a losing battle. Look over her as you always have, while I cling on to precious minutes with her. Your memory keeps me going.....

Book readings for kids by a kid!

Parents, now more than ever, have a great need for good sites or videos that help children read or take an interest in books at least. There are too many videos for kids, however don't we all wish for less screen time already? Book readings mostly have been done by adults for kids. While this is still better than animations and regular videos, there is still a need for kids to feel more connected and enjoy the reading, which could be better achieved if done by another kid. Please find below one such site and do subscribe if you have kids who would enjoy such reading and discussions of very cute books or classics: Little Dragon Reader on YouTube. Videos are now being updated daily and I hope parents and kids find this useful as well as entertaining. Enjoy!

Cross stitch project

I first learnt cross stitch 23 years ago! A dear and talented aunt taught an enthusiastic 15 year old me then. I cannot claim that I have done much with this skill since, but hasn't Coronavirus made the impossible possible by giving us all a bit of extra time and motivation?! What do you think?

It is more complex than the simple patterns that I had learnt and I had a great time. The bonus is my daughter has also learnt about cross stitch now and made quite a few stitches and memories in this project :)

Grateful

Last year in April I rescued a dog near my daughter's school. In Qatar, I have seen many dogs on the streets, lost and running around and have managed to rescue whenever I could manage to catch them. This was a little difficult and after following her through many streets, finally caught up with her and with help from few others managed to get her into the car. From there she went straight to the vet and got a clean bill of health. Now I boarded her at the vet for a few days while I actively posted her case, looking for a foster or a good permanent home if she might be that lucky.

I also asked a couple of neighbours if they would be able to foster short term until I had a better solution as boarding at vets is quite an expensive affair. One of my neighbours who was barely an acquaintance said he would think about it. Now he was a newly separated, single parent with two young kids and I was mildly surprised when he messaged me the next day saying he will give it a shot. A first time experience for the family, but they handled the new responsibility very well. The kids were wonderful as well and easily settled into the routine of additional responsibilities. The dog, now named Pepper due to the colour of her fur, settled in well and was happy with all the kids and families always around her in our compound. It was much later that we discovered she was pregnant!

Although I can write a lot about Pepper, this post is more about my neighbour deservingly. In spite of all these challenges thrown his way, he never once complained. He was well within his right to ask me to remove the dog from his care as he did not sign up for this. He surely was not equipped in terms of experience and resources to handle a dog and her new born pups, but he did not hold me responsible for any of this. When the pups arrived in June, it was night and we both were with Pepper. She delivered three beautiful, healthy pups.

We lost one pup due to unknown reasons the next day and he handled that simply with a prayer and burial in his yard. Pepper started developing behaviour issues and chewed on furniture, gates and doors. She was always an escape artist and had to be caught and brought back many times. While I was informed, he never gave up on her. He found a home for a male pup and ended up keeping the female named Pearla, with him. At a certain point late last year he had decided to adopt them both! I was happy they had a good, loving and secure home.

This year threw more challenges at us with COVID and my neighbour faced the reality that he had to return to his home country. We tried our best to do everything needed to get the dogs to travel and go with the family, but the costs and processes were just so ridiculous that we had to drop the idea. By some luck and lots of hard work along with another great friend and founder of an organization that helped so many animals, we found a perfect home for Pearla in Canada. She is now in a foster home in Qatar, waiting to travel. Mom Pepper is fostered by another family, found by my neighbour. The story thus goes on, but this year has changed my neighbour from an acquaintance to a friend whom I respect very much.

His thoughtfulness in handling so many issues have continually amazed me. His personality that is so optimistic and relaxed has taught me much. Today he leaves with his family to his home country and they are in the airport as I type this post. I am going to genuinely miss him and his family. The world can do with more such positive, useful people and will be grateful for it.

Farewell my friend. Until we meet again.....

One or two?

For a while, a phase in life, all I did when I met fellow parents was try to ask them about the number of kids they had and if they were happy with this number. If I already knew how many kids they had, I had to know if they were happy with their decision. If they had one, I wanted to know if they wanted another and their opinion in the matter. All this was not because of my inquisitiveness in other people's matters let me assure you. I am quite a private person and appreciate decisions that people make for themselves. I do like the mantra 'mind your own business' and live by it. Why then did my personality undergo this sudden change for a while you may ask......well, I had a child and was not sure if I had to have one more!

For all practical purposes, I was done. I am an environmentalist who firmly believed that I did not need to populate this earth anymore. I had wanted to experience motherhood and I was quite happy with the one continuing experience. To plan yet another pregnancy, to face everything again, I had no interest in it. But my little girl, being a very friendly, talkative child, showed all signs of wanting a sibling.

So, I started asking people how they made the decision. I was not interested in people who just had more without a thought process or it being a conscious choice, but people who made a decision after deliberation had interesting thoughts. I did my own case studies on people who were only children to see if they were happy. I reflected back to my own childhood to imagine how my life would have been if I had not had a little brother to fight with, plan games with, scheme plots without my parent's knowledge and of course to generally take care of. I did not like the thought much. While I was still musing, my daughter helped us to decide by beginning to randomly adopt kids in school as her sibling! We had no choice and the decision was made for us.

Over the years there have been times when I have regretted this decision (gasp)! Of course it is extremely difficult to manage two kids, work, home and a million other things. Many times I wondered whatever possessed me to do it! How much easier it would have been if I only had to deal with one child who had been relatively easy to bring up in the early years in many ways.

To top it all, the second one we had fooled us initially by being a quiet, observant one. We thought we had a calm thinker. Boy! Were we in for the shock of our lives! Once she could move and grab things, we were punished and how! She did everything late this one, after she teased us for a while with worries and then did it better than her sibling or contemporaries! She was infinite times more active than her sister and had a mind of her own. Actually, I don't think she listens to her own mind most of the time and her actions are uncontrollable even by herself. She just can't seem to help it! She is the opposite of her sister in so many ways and it is hard to believe I am the common mother of these two kids.

Her sister has by now, over the years, admonished me for creating such a monster and tricking her when all she had asked for was a nice sibling. She expected me to take her back and bring another nicer one for a while, but soon understood this was not an option and was doomed for life. But slowly, somewhere down the line bonding started that lasted for more than five minutes. They could understand each other better and succeeded in making me the common enemy, a major step in sibling bonding.

Now with COVID-19 crisis and all of us forced into our home all the time, their bonding has also expanded. They fight and play all day long, especially since the little one is not old enough for school work yet. Their playtime has now have gone beyond structured games and is in full invention mode. Much like my own childhood (from ancient ages as they would say), anything they see is converted into something they could play with. Pillow forts are built and guarded throughout the day. Of course it is not doing much for the sanity of adults, but I am really glad to have two of them to keep each other entertained. As with most relationships, theirs is blossoming and this time had been a blessing to set up a strong foundation. Although my elder daughter answered in her school survey form "My sister is my biggest problem" for the question "how do you think we can improve your online learning experience", I know she would not have it any other way :)

Their personalities deserve posts of their own.

A woman as supreme leader?

The title said it all in this headlines yesterday: "Kim Jong Un's banished uncle may overtake his sister to rule over North Korea because he is a man". This is in this modern century, into the third decade of it! A banished, old uncle has a better chance of being the ruler next in line than a young, energetic and not banished, direct sister. Sad world indeed.

What can you expect when a great nation like United States of America has not yet produced a woman president? The conservative people even chose to vote for an African American, but not a woman! The lesser said about the current president the better......

Although not really interested in North Korea, I will keenly watch the news in coming weeks. As mother of two beautiful girls, what else do I have but hope!

Work from home for India's largest IT service provider

In the news today, I was reading about how Tata Consultancy Services, India's largest IT service provider implemented the work from home admirably.

The Indian government did not give much warning to its population before implementing, rather efficiently, the 21  days (then, now extended) lockdown. TCS was forced to implement moving of vital operations from secure locations to employee homes with not much benefit of time. Senior officials have thanked those that lived in their office to make this possible. Any organization should be very happy to have such displays of loyalty and work first attitude! Any special reasons for such happy and dedicated employees?

The COO, N Ganapathy Subramaniam has said that they moved mountains in the six hours after lockdown was announced. I completely believe him, knowing my country! While most of us worried about stocking provisions for home, this does seem a completely different kind of commitment. The complete difference in the model of work from home and the complexities that it brings for sensitive work can be overwhelming to the employees to say the least. So, the onus was also on the company to make the transition as seamless or at least as easy as practically possible.

TCS apparently had done everything from convincing customers (national and international), letting employees take their desktops home, staying of key teams in office for a whole week to set up secure systems to enabling security clearance from all customers, including Government customers.

The company has also expressed hope that government as promised will postpone liabilities if the situation continues. I think this is pretty much the same hope that every business owner, however small or big is banking on at the moment. But in the long run, how is this going to affect the tax payer and every inflation facing customer? Only time will tell. Better sense seems to prevail when it comes to global companies, industries, banking sectors and the like, giving us hope. But then Facebook did a great job of showing many videos today of people opposing the lockdown or the idea of staying safe at home in the US. It makes you question everything including common sense, which as they say is not really common!

The positive seems to be that most industries look at this as nothing more than economic slowdown, not a global financial crisis....yet. It is weird how economic slowdown has taken place because people are now only buying essentials!

Due to their efficient handling of the crisis, TCS are certain at this point that they do not have to layoff staff and can honor job offers made in the last year, although promotions, increments and new hires are on a freeze. But the model is so efficient, that they are considering extending the work from home even after the lockdown. This might well be the future as more companies realize that this is more cost efficient in terms of operations.

How is everyone else doing with work from home? Any other success stories?

Women leaders in the news

I came across this article by Avivah Wittenberg-Cox in the Forbes site and am a new fan! 

It is a well written article regarding countries with women leaders and how they have handled the response to COVID-19 most successfully. The words empathy, humane, simple, innovative, originality, clarity and decisiveness jumped out at me through the article.  

I also loved the way the write-up ended. The author wrote "there have been years of research timidly suggesting that women's leadership styles might be different and beneficial". The word 'timidly' seems like a small word, but actually means so much. Why are we afraid to recognize that women have different styles of leadership and that is ok? Not just ok, but even quite successful? Why can't we agree that both genders can learn from each other and yet have differences? Why can't we agree to disagree and see that it is a good thing? It is indeed time to recognize this and elect more women to various corporate boards, decision making committees and even government offices throughout the world. 

Full link here for people who want to read the article: https://www.forbes.com/sites/avivahwittenbergcox/2020/04/13/what-do-countries-with-the-best-coronavirus-reponses-have-in-common-women-leaders/#50e087883dec 

Technology and Parenting styles

I saw this headline today in NPR news and froze - "A must for millions, Zoom has a dark side and an FBI warning".

At home these days, I have my husband and elder daughter using zoom for meetings. My husband can take care of himself but I worry about my little one and her friends!
I have already been secretly monitoring her Zoom morning meetings daily this week for several reasons. One, I needed to hear from her teacher as well on everyday summary of lessons and feedback, so I know how things are going and if my daughter is coping. Second, this is still new for my daughter and I wanted to be around if she needed any help.
I realized today that I need not worry about my second reason, as she was handling the technical aspect like a pro. I chided myself for becoming one of those parents and the term 'helicopter parenting' came to mind. I told myself that I should probably not be as involved from tomorrow and let her have more privacy and then I see this in the news :(

Well, back to square one. Her safety is more important than her privacy. Zoom has promised to work more on security measures and I will continue to work on such measures from my end too!

These thoughts led me to do more research on parenting styles. Apparently the old Baumrind styles are of four types and I think I fall under the authoritative style. Do read up more; I do believe knowing our style helps us to understand the pros and cons and improve on areas where we could. Parenting is daunting at the best of times and the dilemmas parents have to face daily may not be understood by 'non-parent' adult friends! Do we protect our darlings from all the ugly things in the world or do we let them learn the hard way sometimes, so they become smarter?

One source I really liked to learn about the styles of parenting:
https://www.brighthorizons.com/family-resources/parenting-style-four-types-of-parenting 

Another good site if you think you might be a bit more involved than necessary sometimes:
https://afineparent.com/be-positive/helicopter-parent.html

More to learn and reflect everyday :)

Hello again my blog and readers

I have missed writing. Yes. But life got in the way and I did not make writing a priority! I was thinking of starting a new blog, but then saw that I still had readers for my old posts! So, I plan on starting to write again in this same blog. If anyone is still following me, thank you!

I hope everyone is surviving this COVID-19 safely. For me, this has been a great experience. A time to reflect, to spend with kids, learn how to survive with my spouse and enjoy the small things. Worked with a friend to rehome five pups! Been cooking more. Of course I know we are lucky if we can consider this a good time. Praying for the many people who are in the frontline of this and others who may have to plan their everyday lives with great difficulty in these circumstances. However, we will survive this.

While we figure it out, please do keep an eye open for abused kids who might be stuck at home, animals, especially starving strays etc., and try to help when you can. Please do not ignore if you find you can help. Sending love and positive thoughts to the Universe!